Your Darkness Is Shining

Alabama Shakes...Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
Red Rocks Amphitheater & Ecstatic Me

A little dream came true for me last night. The venue? Red Rocks Amphitheater. The bands? Alabama Shakes opening for Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. The time of year? Perfect.

I enjoy both bands tremendously and was expecting a good show. Ended up getting a GREAT show. But the real dream come true was halfway through Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros set and they played lead singer Alex Ebert's solo hit "Truth". Aka, my favorite song everrrrr. It was unexpected (wasn't in any previous set lists I found?) and took a great night into the stratosphere for me.

I had always liked the song but it took on all new meaning when I faced the most physically challenging day of my life a few years ago - riding my mountain bike up John Brown Canyon. Oh and here's that little canyon now...miles and miles up, like this:

John Brown Canyon - named after the Mormon Pioneer whom I cursed ceaselessly

When I did that 215 mile ride with my hubs that summer, I was deep in a bout of fraud syndrome. Feeling I wasn't "enough" because I didn't meditate an hour every morning and night, wasn't skinny and flexy enough for popular taste and couldn't backbend it like Beckham. And this climb STUCK IT TO ME. I believe it was Pema Chodron who said something to the effect of "when life squeezes you, what comes out is what you're soaking in". And this climb was squeezing me and all that I'd been soaking in came out - FULL ON GUSHER. So after Jeff pedaled off to give me some space, I plugged in my headphones and listened to "Truth" by Alexander over and over and over and pedaled and pedaled and pedaled until I got up that bastard hill and fully understood that the only way to transcend your shadow is to see it as your teacher and OWN IT. 

The Truth is that I never shook my shadow
Every day it's trying to trick me into doing battle
Calling out "faker", only gets me rattled
Want to pull me back behind the fence with the cattle

Building your lenses
Digging your trenches
Put me on the front line
Leave me with a dumb mind
With no defenses
But your defenses
If you can't stand to feel the pain then you are senseless

Since this
I've grown up some
Different kind of fighter
And when the darkness come let it inside you
Your darkness is shining
My darkness is shining
Have faith in myself
TRUTH


If you love and value life, don't be afraid of any of it, even the darkness. 

Have faith in yourself. And Truth.

Alex Ebert singing Truth

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros performing Truth at Red Rocks 6/2/13

And when the darkness come let it inside you

Your darkness is shining

My darkness is shining

Have faith in myself

TRUTH

SATYA

Take Refuge In Solitude

I don't get much time alone. Besides having a magnificent partner of almost 16 years, 2 active dogs and a fantastically fun brother living with us, I'm also a YOGA TEACHER. And, yeah, it's a very people-oriented job. I'm a communicator and a big fan of creating and sustaining community so it's natural that I'm constantly surrounded by great beings. I'm an extrovert by nature and if you are too, this post is for you...

This last weekend I had the rare opportunity to be completely ALONE. I had a room to myself, total quietude in the evening and even enjoyed a solo meal out, almost completely devoid of conversation and interaction. No texting to fill the space. Just me and my beer :) 

This brief time alone reminded me that there's a S P A C I O U S N E S S to solitude that is precious. Its in that space that the inner witness is most present, when we become acutely aware of the fluctuations of our minds, our patterns, our inner whispers....things that often slide "under the radar" because we're so busy interacting with others. This opportunity is always available to us in our meditation practice but I find there's something more potent about that space when you aren't burrowing away to create it, but rather experience it when you're out in the world, in the midst of the temptation to send energy out and interact.

I was so grateful for this unexpected reminder. I need ME space to continue to offer my best into the YOU and WE space as a friend, a partner, a sister, a daughter, a teacher. Create more opportunities for this quietude. Plan a getaway alone, whether it's for an hour or a weekend. People are big on juice fasting these days, why not take a silence fast for an hour, a day, a week? This solo time is essential for our personal evolution and where our greatest insights may arise. So rather than reflexively reaching out to see who wants to XYZ with you, consider doing it alone and you too may get a little closer to your Truth for the benefit of us all.

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude." 

~ Henry David Thoreau 

Jai Hanuman!! A Heroic Sequence For You!

Today is Hanuman Jayanti - Hanuman's birthday! I honor his spirit today with this fun little sequence I wrote especially for the Hanuman Festival here in Boulder. It's an enlivening practice to do with drumming music ~  Read it and leap!

http://www.yoganonymous.com/jai-hanuman-a-heroic-yoga-sequence-to-ignite-your-devotion/

Yoga Off The Mat - Practicing Extraordinary Consciousness

Happy Earth Day! I could list 1008 ways you can live more sustainably but I'm going to stick with a few that come up with great frequency and are VERY EASY to get rollin' with! 
1. Bring your own coffee mug! If you do forget it, at least don't take a plastic lid. 

2. Bring your own water bottle everywhere so you never need a plastic cup. I like glass bottles best. http://www.lifefactory.com/ or http://www.mybkr.com/

3. Bring bamboo utensils so you don't need to use "disposable" utensils when you take out. If you don't have a purse, the spork fits right in your pocket! http://www.to-goware.com/ http://www.bambuhome.com/

4. Just say no to plastic grocery bags every time. ChicoBags are easy to stuff into just about anything so you never forget. http://www.chicobag.com/

5. STOP USING DRINKING STRAWS! Totally unnecessary unless you have your jaw wired shut (then use bamboo or steel). When ordering a drink including water at a restaurant, be sure to say "no straw please" since many still give them out even if you don't ask for one.

I could give you all the eco-tips in the world but the very best way to change your relationship with our great Mother is to GET OUTSIDE and love her more!

Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water...

For everyone who is hurting, grieving and suffering, I woke up and experienced my body anew, with gratitude. I woke up up witnessed my life force, anew, with gratitude for it's presence again on a new morning. I practiced Tonglen meditation and took in their pain as deeply as I could bear so that I could transmute it within to compassion and gratitude. In honor of the fallen and the wounded, I commit anew to not squandering my life, not wallowing in regressive patterns, not taking a moment for granted. If you're with me, let your voice be HEARD.

When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

This is my favorite version of the iconic song by Simon & Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Live in 1969. Today, it heals.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYKJuDxYr3I

Do One Thing A Day That Scares You

I learned to snowboard on the mostly man-made white hills of Big Bear in Southern California. We had GREAT days up there but they pretty much never included powder. As a recent transplant to Colorado, now I've been blessed with a few opportunities to experience the elusive stuff. So this past weekend while my love was laid up with a bad cold, I ventured alone up into the high country for a bonafide SNOW DAY. Not those gorgeous marketing shots where it's just dumped a foot of pow but it's a brilliant sunny day, I'm talking a day where snow was actively falling and it was pretty much a white out, your neck gaiter is frozen solid and you're being continually pelted about the face with snow daggers.

Not this.

More like this.

And my companions are a threesome of expert level skiers. Like the kind that raced in college. I can hold my own but in an effort to dodge the tourist contingent, these pow hounds took me directly to the back bowls of Vail for some first tracks in powder. On a white out day. First run of the day was to a run called "Seldom", which, btw, is right next to "Never" which should tell you something about this area. On a snowboard I couldn't quite make the loooong ridge trail catwalk over to Seldom with them so I dropped in alone on a run called "Ricky's Ridge" as they disappeared into the distance. In a moment I was completely alone and couldn't see 2 feet in front of me. I'd never been on this run so don't know what it looks or feels like on a clear day. I'm up to my shins in heavy powder with a layer of ice beneath it and I mean I was ALONE. I couldn't see or hear a person in any direction. And each time I moved I felt like I was being magnetically pulled into a crevasse or something, I kept getting stuck and was making no progress. I wiped out badly twice and cleaned my clock both times. And then I started to get scared. Like skerrrrred that I wouldn't be able to get down to whatever the hell chairlift was down there. I caught my toeside edge, fell again and landed on my knees with my board buried deeply and still attached behind me. It's hard to feel any stupider than this. I couldn't flip over it backwards because of the snow, couldn't go sideways unless I no longer want use of my knees so my only option was to somersault forward, down the hill?!? Fuuuuck.

Right in the middle of it, I somehow remembered the Lululemon credo "Do Something Once A Day That Scares You". And that made me laugh out loud up there on Ricky's Ridge. I've always been a fan of that advice and try to teach it by example. But in that moment I realized, I must usually push up against that edge by doing things that I'm scared of looking stupid doing. Maybe I never actually get to the level of shit-my-pants-scared for my wellbeing! This observation kicked my yoga practice into gear and I recalled that fear is just an expression of energy and I could actually transmute that energy into something more productive if I could just assimilate it and stay on the board!!

So I fully acknowledged my fear by recognizing what it was doing to my physical body and observed how dramatic one's mind can be - to the point of absurdity. People go down this run every day of the season damnit!! So I pointed that nose down and knew if I just kept going down, whatever that looked like, I'd either find a chairlift and my friends or a nice family of bears hibernating for the winter who might make some space for me. And soon Ricky's spirit had mercy on me and I could see again and there I was barreling towards the chairlift with an apologetic smile and a juicy round of expletives.

Damn you, Ricky Andenmatten

I simultaneously hated and loved that experience. From one perspective, it was the kinda shameful blemish on an otherwise magnificent day. But from another perspective, it was the highlight of the day for giving me the chance to re-evaluate what I'm made of. The guru is everywhere y'all, when you're willing to receive the teaching.

Facing something that scares you everyday trains up your ability to have the grace to shift your perspective and transmute the immense power of fear into immense appreciation for life and all the opportunities it provides for us to learn, expand and evolve into extraordinary. Get out there and get skerred!!

PS- No pants were harmed nor shit in for the purposes of this blog post.

Speaking In Tongues

Mt. Vesuvius on FIYA

When I was in 5th grade, we learned about the ruins of Pompeii, just east of Naples, Italy, caused by a massive eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in AD 79. As our dear teacher went along, she kept referring to it as "Mt. VesuSius" (rhymes with Dr. Seuss-ius). Thankfully I could read and spell pretty well by 5th grade. So after about 10 times of hearing this "Mt. VesuSius", I raised my hand and asked, as politely as possible, if it was VesuSius or VesuVius like the book said?

Her infamous reply was: "VesuSius, VesuVius, either one is fine". Say wha? I know she was embarrassed but come on!! That answer has become a punchline for my entire family for 30 years now. Whenever we catch each other talking out our asses, we use that same line and subsequently erupt (pun intended) into raucous laughter.

I was reminded of this recently when I was in a yoga class with an enthusiastic teacher who was spouting out the Sanskrit names for poses with conviction and even repeated them multiple times. The only trouble was, at least half of the names the teacher was using were wrong. And I don't mean the name differences between styles or variations between schools, I mean either butchering the correct name so it was mostly nonsense or using the wrong, but somewhat similar, asana name altogether.

Let me interject here that I am not a Sanskrit scholar nor am I fluent in Sanskrit. But when it comes to asana names and the glossary of words related to Hatha and Tantra Yoga, I feel like I can hold my own. I have put in my time. Enough to at least know the difference between parsvakonasana and parsvottanasana.

I applaud this teacher's effort because at minimum using the Sanskrit names for the asanas is an ode to our roots, a showing of respect, if you will, to those teachers and rishis who developed and evolved this practice. Beyond that, the word "Sanskrit" means  “refined” or “sanctified” and each word or syllable has an essential energy. The sounds themselves are thought to be transmitting mystical, divine qualities. Mantras, for example, are sacred sounds or syllables chanted repeatedly to tap into their energetic signature. And some asanas are named for sages and revered beings whose energy is inherent in the shape itself.

Buuut...as teachers I think somewhere along the way there's got to be a "come to Vishnu moment" where you ask yourself - are linguistics your strength? Were you quite comfortable in high school Spanish or French? And, why do YOU think it's important to use the Sanskrit names? If foreign languages are not one of your fortes and you're maybe just trying to use the Sanskrit names so you sound more knowledgable and deep - drop it now while you're still ahead and either commit to learning the correct names (at least in your own lineage), correct pronunciation and begin to develop an experiential relationship with the words OR just relax into your strengths and speak English!

Some would agree that it's important to preserve the embedded energetics of the Sanskrit asana names while others would say using Sanskrit is divisive. I must admit when I first began practicing, I went to an Ashtanga class and not only did the teacher use only Sanskrit names but the students were expected to say the names along with him. I'll admit, I did feel a bit marginalized because there was no attempt to help me understand or join in. Don't ask, just do! So, most of the asanas I tried that day were prefaced with a whispered "watermelonasana". But, I think the answer is, if you're going to use Sanskrit, especially in beginner level classes, use it as an opportunity to teach, since that's pretty much what you're there for! Use Sanskrit and English - and when there is no English (ie: Visvamitrasana), use it as an opportunity to teach who Visvamitra was! When your students hear the words together over and over again, gradually they begin to learn and the Sanskrit words take on meaning without the English translation.

If its important to you, practice svadhyaya, "self-study", and take advantage of ample online resources to help you learn better pronunciation, the meanings of the root words and the stories behind the asanas. Make flashcards, practice with a friend, record yourself! And if you live in a community where there are opportunities to learn in person, even better! 

We wouldn't think it ok for a teacher to say, "Inhale, reach both farms up" so maybe "Inhale, lift up into Purvokonasana" shouldn't be ok either?

"Inhale, reach both farms up..."

Vesusius, Vesuvius...Hanumanasana, Hamanamasana...no, dear teacher, either one isn't fine!


RESOURCES FOR YOUR LEARNING PLEASURE

American Sanskrit Institute - Vyaas Houston

Sanskrit Studies - Manorama

Sanskrit Sounds - Nicholai Bachman

Online Sanskrit Pronunciation Guide - Tilak Pyle

Yoga Flash Cards - Yoga Blossom

Inside The Yogis Studio

Q: What are you devoted to? 

A: TRUTH! If yoga is a practice of dissolving the illusion that separates us from truth, then I’m all in. In this brief time that we’re alive in these bodies, I commit wholeheartedly to the dissolution of anything that isn’t truth, pure and simple. The good, the bad and the ugly...bring it!

Q: How does devotion show up for you in your yoga practice?  Off the mat?  When you're teaching? 

A: Devotion shows up at that little fork in the road that presents itself each day on my mat, off the mat and when I have the privilege of guiding others on this path we’re all walking. Should I go this way, or that way? Make this choice or that choice? And when you get quiet enough inside, Truth presents itself and you get to decide anew if you’re devoted to it or not, come what may.

Q: What are your goals as a student in the next year? 

A: The subtle continues to get more and more interesting as I tune ever more closely to what’s going on within and without me. I’m allowing for old opinions to dissolve as I hear new things from my body and my spirit. I want to cultivate my creative spark and relax around my process. I want to face any shame that arises in my practice with a knowing smile and continue to see the humor in it all. The “lila” must be there, the play is essential.

Q: Favorite yoga pose? 

A: It depends on any given day, any sesh on the mat. But Forearm Plank is always a contender. Ardha Chandrasana (half-moon) has been a lover from the very beginning. And I think Bhujapidasana (Arm Pressure Pose) and Bhujangasana (Cobra) are seriously unsung heroes in the pantheon of asanas. 

Q: Yoga pose took longest to master? 

A: I’m proud to say I’m a master of none since I keep discovering little subtleties in the most basic asanas that would prevent me from saying that. But I find all the backbends with shoulder flexion (arms up over your head) like to play hard to get. In the end, we lose them all except savasana so maybe that’s the one to really master!

Q: In your past life, you ... 

A: Pretty sure I was the front woman of a 60’s R&B band.

Q: If you weren't a yoga instructor, what would you be doing instead? 

A: In college I worked in a library and I’ve always said if this yoga thing doesn’t work out, I’d become a librarian. They get to do a lot of detective type research and get to shush people. I love that.

Q: If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be?

A: Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. I've read lots of other fabulous books that I'd be hesitant to be without but that was the first book that really shifted my perspective about my Self and life. I read it in high school and love it and quote from it often.

Q: Tell me about someone who has influenced your teaching or your practice? 

A: I have PHENOMENAL real-life teachers in a formal sense whose commitment to their own practice and evolution lights a lamp for me to see so much I would otherwise miss. Shiva Rea, Max Strom, Denise Kaufman, Erich Schiffmann, Cyndi Lee...Most recently what is influencing me is collaborating with other teachers with different styles and passions, watching Meghan Currie’s self-practices on You Tube and Jason Bowman stressing the importance of leisurely pursuits. The teachings are everywhere if you make space.

Q: When/where did you begin to practice yoga?

A: My beginning was practically an accident - back in college at UCSD I was taking an elective Phys Ed course, I think it was even called "Weight Training" and a woman in the class asked our burly teacher if she could begin every class with 10 minutes of yoga. Yoga wasn't even popular yet. And surprisingly, he said yes - and so began my love affair with yoga!

Q: What style of yoga do you currently practice and teach?

A: I call my classes "Integrated Vinyasa" and they are an integration of the dynamic energetics I learned from Shiva Rea's Prana Flow methodology and my own passion for anatomy and alignment as tools for meditation - prana dharana. Both our physical and energetic aspects are explored with emphasis on vitality and appreciation for life and enjoying the evolutionary process. Laughing is integral to that!

Q: What inspires you? 

A: People embracing their evolutionary journey, come what may. I love seeing adults recognize they are not in stasis and can continue discovering, changing and expanding for the rest of their lives. Fearlessness, curiosity and willingness inspire me!!

Q: Outside of yoga, what is your greatest passion? 

A: Hiking, cooking, snowboarding...these are things I love too. But when it comes to passion, as in driving force in my life, it's creating opportunities for people to recognize their power and limitless potential.

Q: What is in your yoga bag? 

A: The key to my scooter, a fat tube of homemade lip balm, my sequencing notebook, my ipod, my wallet and my appetite.

Q: What do you never leave home without? 

A: My sense of humor. Oh, and my sunglasses. I have sensitive eye balls.

To Rock Or Not To Rock? That Is The Question...

To Rock Or Not To Rock? That Is The Question...

I recently practiced yoga at a studio whose lineage dictates no music in class. From what I understand, the feeling is that music during asana will take the student out of the embodied experience of asana and into the music. This question of music or no music in class is by no means a new question. But this recent adamant rejection of music got me thinking anew.

There are the "purists" who believe that since music and props weren't used 5000 years ago, they shouldn't be used in classes today. Never mind that what we're practicing today looks nothing like a yoga practice of 5000 years ago which didn't include asana anyway. In fact, by that same rationale, women shouldn't be allowed to practice and men should wear langoutis (lovely cotton loincloths). And never mind that the people practicing yoga  5000 years ago didn't have chairs and f*cked up backs and computers and cars and cell phones and.....oh, pardon me while I digress.

Loincloths. Yumzers.

And on the other end of the spectrum, we have the yoga teacher DJ that busts out killer playlists of contemporary music for you to get your rocksasanas off. Start to finish feels like your in da club, barefoot and sweating like a moose. (do moose even sweat? that's probably not fair to moose. meese? i'm digressing again). Music is part of the SCENE and it attracts a certain youthful clientele. And you get to feel a little bit like Diddy, large and in charge of this par-tay!

Urdhva Dhanuwickiwickiasana

The yoga most of us are practicing these days has it's roots in the Krishnamacharya lineage. And suffice to say, Krishnamacharya and friends weren't likely kickin' out the jams during their practice time. And if you've ever been to a class that plays all contemporary/pop/hip-hop/rock music, you're bound to have hit a day where some song(s) takes you wayyyyy out of your practice and into aversion (please just say no to Katy Perry or Flowbots). Unless it's your own play list, there's just no way you're going to get into everything the teacher selects. And sometimes it's that song that reminds you of something you were doing while it was popular and then you're off on some mental tangent about the U2 show in 1987 and the boyfriend you had and where did that all go wrong anyway?  And, I'm just going to say it - I can't take a class that is non-stop kirtan. Love me some kirtan, really. But I love it when I'm at a kirtan. Krishna Das, bless his ever-loving heart, has a magnificent voice. But after listening to it too much in class, it starts to sound weird to me, like looking at a face upside down does when you stare at it too long. (try it if you don't know what I mean). And the high-pitched response team starts to sound silly and I want to mock them. Then on top of all this, the teacher is saying things. Like, trying to teach us something. And it's real, real hard to compete with Bassnectar for subtle cues. I can't hear and I start getting pissed. Maybe this is just me, just sayin'. So on the one hand, I totally, wholeheartedly agree with the purists. No music!

BUT I thought this was supposed to be a practice of liberation, right? Through the practice we are liberated from ordinary consciousness into extraordinary consciousness, yes? And in that way, music helps a lot of people. Music, reduced way down, is vibration. And vibration is the necessary pre-cursor to change, transformation. When music interacts with your cells, it seems to me that a liberation of body, both physical and energetic, becomes possible. Some yogis have to wear pantyhose and heels or suits and ties and sit inside cubicles all day. The idea of blasting their cells with a little vibration seems helpful as they shift from the work sadhana to the extraordinary consciousness we practice on our mats.

I remember a moment, back in 2001 taking a class with my first teacher, Max Strom, and he chose music exquisitely. (It doesn't hurt that he was a musician prior to teaching yoga.) He matched a movement we were doing so perfectly to the music that was on, it sent me soaring into extraordinary consciousness. It was Moby's "Everloving" by the way, in case you're wondering. That one moment of perfect union (of many) expanded my view of myself, the world, every damn thing. So it CAN work.

The conclusion I've come to on the music issue is that the worst thing is either not using music just because you're "not supposed to" or using it because it makes you seem fun and attractive. Music is just too exquisite to treat like that, in either case. And for that matter, so is our yoga practice.

For the record, I self-practice and teach public classes with music - I try to choose wisely, matching the music to the bhava, or feeling state, of the asana family or sequence we're in. Rather than just blast random music that's fun to listen to, I try to practice that art of finding the right music for the right movement like my teachers Max and Shiva Rea have taught me. And it takes forever to make playlists when you take this mindful approach. What I come up with is certainly not perfect, there are some songs that get me off like nobody's business and I don't think everybody is feelin' it, and you know that right away and learn from it. But the point is, I use and try to choose music very intentionally to elicit a certain freedom from the ordinary. It's not just about the partay.

What do you think?

Surviving Monday In Irie Style

Mondays can feel like an avalanche barreling down on you. My simple advice? Start by planning in the time you'll care for yourself. Today will you work out, go to a yoga class, meditate, read, get a massage, take a walk?? Decide when that's happening first and treat it like any other important deadline or meeting. The hustle up a nice cuppa tea and get to it. Don't forget to eat.

Second, take it lightly. And to keep keepin' it real, listen to reggae. (read this next line with your best Jamaican patois) "Got to t'ink positive, no negative vibes!"  Reggae was made for Mondays. Especially when the sun is taking care of other people. It's like instant sunshine. Irie.

And here are my Instant Sunshine Monday Jams to get you through - FEEL DEM RIDDIMS!

Duppy Conqueror - Bob Marley & The Wailers
Step It Pon the Rastaman Scene - Easy Star All-Stars
Police And Thieves - Junior Murvin
Beautiful Woman - Toots & The Maytals
The Fat Panther - Price Fatty
African Herbsman (King Kooba Remix) - Bob Marley & The Wailers
<flashback breakout>
Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant
Pass The Dutchie - Musical Youth
<end flashback breakout>
Countryman Fiddle - The Aggrolites
Wa Do Dem - Eek-A Mouse
The Tourist - Israel Vibration
Shimmy Shimmy Ya - Prince Fatty
Iron Lion Zion - Bob Marley & The Wailers

Gina Caputo

www.ginacaputo.com

www.facebook.com/yoginiontheloose

Give Voice To Your Passions

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a man whose tongue lit fires across the land.

In addition to his unwavering commitment to service and very yogic lens of unity, what I am most inspired by in him is that he was a MAN ON FIRE!

He was passionate and gave voice to that passion. He didn't get stuck in the human trap of smallness, weaving inner tales of not being ________ enough and then getting bound up in those tales, forever trapped and dangling over his own potential. He fed his inner fire fearlessly which gave rise to his voice and its ability to illuminate.

There was the message and mission he championed directly and also the teachings by example: 

Live a passionate life - find something you believe in, something that ignites you, something that makes you feel both angry and ecstatic.

Give voice to your passion - don't get mired in overanalysis of whether what you're saying is important enough or articulate enough. Trust the evolutionary process and know someone is ready to hear exactly what you are saying, the way you're saying it, today.

Think big - smallness consciousness is part of the illusion (maya) that keeps us trapped in reductive, regressive cycles of behavior. If YOU don't make your unique offering, who will? You and your passions are not small, you are greater than you've ever imagined.

"Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it." ~ Mary Oliver

Thank you Dr. King. Thank you my teacher.

Devotion or Discipline?

It's that time again. Every new year (and solstice, equinox, new moon, Monday morning...) I resolve to be more disciplined. And every single time, I fail to become the smoothly functioning, well balanced, highly disciplined person I envision I should could be.

It begs the question - how many times am I going to repeat this exact same cycle before I do something differently? As a yoga teacher, I'm in the business of wake up calls. The word for teacher in Sanskrit is guru which translates as "dispeller of darkness". So let's flip on the light, roll out of this behavioral groove and wake the f*ck up!

I'll start with semantics. Part of the problem is the word itself DISCIPLINE. Have you ever noticed how that word makes you feel? It's got a negative vibe. And it harkens back to being grounded, chastised, BUSTED!

NO WIRE HANGERS - EVER!!!

It's hard to get excited about being more disciplined. It feels so austere, so dry biscuit. And there's an implication of authority, of imposition. That I should because it's expected of me, what I'm supposed to do. And then that starts to feel oppressive and shitty and I rebel and "fail" yet again.

DRY BISCUIT - BLECH

Discipline feels so limiting - I've determined that I fail at discipline because I'm afraid that being more disciplined will cause me to miss nectarian moments in life. And when I make the nectarian choice, I label those as indulgences, so very NOT disciplined.

This shit is getting old. So after the 108th failure to become more disciplined, I'm finally changing my tune. 

Here goes...

At its essence, what the discipline I seek truly entails is constancy of purpose. Aw, hell yeah, I like the sound of that!

HALLELUJAH!

Damn Gina! When I change the locution just a little bit, I finally see the light. Constancy of purpose requires DEVOTION. And that word makes me feel warm, capacious, juicy and empowered! 

Getting clear about what I'm devoted to in this one precious life and then aligning myself with that purpose requires effort I'm truly, deeply inspired to put forth, without reservation, hesitation or shame. To be fair, I don't think the discipline is bad. I think it's what we've culturally slathered on it and contained it in that makes it stink. And I don't think for a hot second that devotion will be free from effort or suffering. But that extraordinary effort now feels like it will come from a place of inspiration instead of self-flagellation and obligation.

Maria Montessori said that "Discipline must come through liberty..." And I think I finally feel liberated to resolve to be more devoted.

Happy New Year and good luck with those resolutions y'all!

Big love,
Gina

TASTE THE NECTAR